I have been told by several sources that there’s a tradition in China. Before you go to University (Or College, for our American readers.), you’re obliged to spend one year working in the paddy fields. The idea is that you have a greater understanding of how all of society works. That you retain a degree of humility and know where you could be, were it not for luck and your happenstance birth. I’m inclined to think that each of us in different parts of the comic book industry would be very well served doing the same for one week a year.

So Retailers would get to sit in on Previews solicitations, Event summits, Art Direction meetings. Comic Artists and Writers could run till for a week  The PR people at publishing companies get an insight on how drawing comics against deadlines happens in the real world.

Because here’s my thing;

If you’re dealing with a comic shop retailer at this time of the month,you honestly better be offering them either money or REALLY good product. We’ve all just received this month’s Previews in the last few days, and we’re all going through the monthly process of ‘REALLY? THIS? Who do you think the audience is for this? Why are there SO many books? Stop hiring Brazilian Children to draw your comics, you cheap swine!’, etc, etc.

>And it is a bloody nightmare. We’re all aware of the impending Big Two crash that isn’t going to be swayed no matter how many variants of a build your own Aunt May collect the set we’re offered in relation to which percentage of All New, All Different Avengers we ordered last October (I’m exaggerating, but not by much.) Every single thing in Previews offered has to make money for our stores at the moment. We’re at that point where you, as in you behind the counter, better be able to justify every book on your shelves, both in terms of why you ordered it, and being able to sell it to anyone. Not just the Weds Fix Mob.

We, to quote Former Governor Of Minnesota Jesse Ventura, ain’t got time to bleed. We don’t have time, shelf space or money to spend on dead weight, vanity projects or listening to people whose books are ‘Coming soon. Keep an eye on our website! WINK’ (Yeah, that’s a thing we’ve got time to do, mate. I’ll make sure to keep track of your special project while I’ve got 15 small press people who have completed, quality books they want to sell me and are promising to help promote the business I work at as part of our deal. But I’m going to choose looking at the cat video you just uploaded on your Facebook page over getting their books on my shelves.)

I look at Previews each month in a state of shock, because my theory is that every single thing that has ever manifested itself into the world is something somebody thought was a good idea. I’d honestly love to see the thought process that goes behind some of the things that are offered. It certainly isn’t free to list an item in the pages of Previews, so someone, somewhere has commissioned this art, written this copy, decided on these 10 bikini variants and said ‘Yes. This, here, is the absolute best use of our money and space. The Adventures of Undead Trollop Lass 1 represents the what we want to tell the world we are and what our aims are as a publisher.’

Sometimes a comic will be late and not only late, but the publisher will actually take to Social Media to berate paying customers for expecting the comic to ship when..they were told it was going to ship. I’ve often said the relationship between Big Two Publishers and the regular superhero comic customer is akin to a dealer and a junkie, but even the wildest dealer wouldn’t publicly berate their customer for wanting their fix.

And, yeah, on occasion, you run into the child who’s clearly trying out for a real life version of ‘The Emperor’s New Clothes’ by asking a perfectly intelligent question like ‘Why Am I buying Amazing Spider-Man 1 again when I just bought it last year?’. To which, one is forced to bite one’s tongue and not reply ‘Because Marvel thinks you’re stupid enough to believe every issue 1 they publish will be worth lots of money in the future, so you’ll buy multiple copies that you think you can sell on eBay for more than cover price in a year or so’s time.’

As I say, guys, come do my job for a week. Explain basic String Theory to 12 year boys to make sense of your crossovers for 9 months and see how enthusiastic you are about the next time-travelling event you want us to stock, then.

It’s rare, if not downright miraculous when a publisher puts out a press release like THIS, then:

(Taken from the Black Mask Facebook page, Post uploaded 17/02/2016)