Runaway Imagination on the Back of a Wild Mare / A Hive Of Sass & Luridity: Being the Journal of Raygun East

27 Jul 2015

‘So…what should I buy? Anything. i just want something to read!’
‘…Shaolin Cowboy!’
‘What’s that about?’
‘A wee fella walks across the desert hacking up zombies with a rope and a chainsaw tied to each side of the rope.’
‘Okay, and?’
‘No, that’s all there is to it, but it looks amazing.’
‘SOLD!’
‘Really? Er, I mean, that’s 15 quid, please.’

1 Aug 2015

Child walks in.
‘Excuse me, are there new Deadpool comics?’
‘Not at the moment, Sir, He’s dead.’
‘STILL?’
Ah, they grow up so fast these days…..

10 Aug 2015

Just carried a stuffed Jabba The Hut from one end of London to another through Rush Hour London Transport.

 child

2 Sept 2015

Kid just walked in, proclaiming ‘You! You remember me from yesterday, I AM XXXXX AND YOU MUST HAVE SPIDER-MAN COMICS FOR ME!’

Amazing. Well done, The Kids. All he needed was a dog and I’ve given him the keys to the place.

8 Sept 2015

‘You like Punk? Yeah, we used to have Sid & Nancy in the chip shop, right state those two were…’

*Makes customer cup of tea.

There’s a guy casting a spell from the bin next to the hedge. He’s very loud, He seems to be talking to a dog, also.

6 Oct 2015

Hey Nevs.’
‘Hey, XXXXX.’
‘Um…Is there a new issue of Spider-Verse coming out?’
‘Nope, it’s finished. All New, All Different Amazing Spider-Man is the next Spidey comic, I believe. Issue 1 is due very soon.’
‘Issue 1?’
‘Yes.’
‘Didn’t I already buy Amazing Spider-Man 1?’
‘…Yes. Marvel are relaunching it.’
‘Relaunching?’
‘It’s when they start a series again from Issue 1.’
‘Oh…..why would they do that?’
‘This series takes place after Secret Wars.’
‘Has Secret Wars finished yet?’
‘…..No.’
‘Then how can they put out Amazing Spider-Man 1?’
‘…..’

Damn it, the kid beat me again. I couldn’t give him a decent answer, so I advised him to ask Marvel on Twitter instead. They get paid more than me to explain this.

12 Oct 2015

Heck, what I find frightening is that there are people who open up comic shops and DON’T say ‘Turbines To Speed, Battery To Power!’ as they switch on the lights.

14 Oct 2015

Ahem.

‘After a bit of a struggle, I managed to get Steve Gerber’s Man-Thing into the shop window.’

THANK YOU

16 Oct 2015

Current ratio of V For Vendetta masks sold to minutes of monologues from tin foil hat wearers, explaining the connection between the price of a piss at Victoria station and the mind control lasers on the Northern line inducing weak bladders. Also why the immigrants are in on this so they can be part of a super work force that will first kill all the white people:

2 Masks to 45 minutes.

The next time I get one of these people, I’m sending them directly to Dez Skinn. As karma.

28 Oct 2015 

(Italian Customer comes in who had clearly been under a rock or training with Monks for the last decade or so.)

‘What…is this? Star Wars? Why..does The Disney have their FILTHY NAME ON IT?’
‘Er…Disney bought the rights to Star Wars?’
‘…’
‘Honest.’
*Walks towards the door, opens it.
‘THEN F*CKA THE DISNEY IN ALL THEIR A**ES! ALL OF THEM! F***EN MICKEY F***EN MOUSE!’
*Slams door, leaves.

 cakes

11 Nov 2015

It’s not that I mind that the best new comics this week have titles like ‘Cyanide & Happiness’, ‘Young Terrorists’ and ‘The Goddamned’, but it does make writing the sign for the shop a bit awkward.

Rather grateful the new volume of Sex Criminals didn’t come in, really.

17 Nov 2015

Nipped out for a fag. Fat bloke on a bike with a sign that read ‘No Smoking’ that looked like he nicked it from a tube station on the handlebars just mooed ‘NOOOOO SMOOOOKKKIINNNGG!’ at me.

If David Lynch could stop scripting my life and get on with Twin Peaks:Season 3 instead, that’d be great. Thanks.

21 Nov 2015

‘You can’t be working in a comic shop! You’re not fat or ugly! You’re really hot! I mean -er….’

Thank you, Miss. You may shop here again.

 drink

25 Nov 2015

‘Erm, my son’s on the way to your shop. He’s very annoyed about a comic being late. Something….fight?’
‘Fight? …..War? Secret War!?’
‘THAT’S it.’
‘Don’t worry about your son. I think I know who he is. Is he XDESCRIPTION REDACTED BECAUSE NOT SURE ABOUT LEGALITY OF DESCRIBING CHILDREN ON THE INTERNETX
‘No. Not my boy. He’s MUCH taller than. Very wide boy, Over 6ft.’
‘And he’s annoyed about Secret Wars being late?’
‘Yes.’

Thus far, said boy has not arrived. Should I not survive this encounter, remember me as generally meaning well and punch any Marvel staff you see as I risk death due to the fact that they couldn’t get 9 issues of a comic out with only 2 years to get on with it.

22 Dec 2015

UNRELATED:
Man just came in to buy some books, looked at me for a bit and then said ‘Oh, YOU’RE the bloke my wife keeps trying to chat up…’

THIS IS NOT MY FAULT!

8 Feb 2016

Suddenly you realise you’ve spent twenty years helping to create a world where the British Public is exposed to Deadpool’s arse on their way to work, and you wonder if you’ve done the right thing.

18 Feb 2016

*Must stop laughing when customers ring to ask about ‘The Coming Of The Superman.

‘Hi, do you have Ex Macerena by Brian K. Vaughn?’

‘……Madam, I cannot tell you how much I wish I did.’

29 Feb 2016

Outside the shop, having a fag and taking a break from pricing up the Undergrounds whilst trying to hide them from the swarm of kids buying the new Amulet.

‘YOU, YOUNG MAN, I bet you know where to buy beer!’

Turn around to see a fella in a baseball cap, glasses, on a walking frame, emerging from Junkie Square.

‘YOU. How old are you, 28?’
‘I, er, I’m 38. Sainsbury’s. There’s a branch not two minutes down the road on your right.’
‘HO, TURN TO MY RIGHT! I can’t do that!’
‘O…kay….’
‘Anywhere else?’
‘There’s a Craft beer shop to the left. Just follow the road around for about five minutes and you’ll find it. Should be a blue haired girl behind the counter you can see from the window.’

(Sorry, Michaela Zelenaanska. By the time I’ve posted this, he should be just about arriving at yours.)

‘AH, YOU”RE ON THE FAGS!’
‘I am, aye. Do you want one?’
‘NO! NO I DO NOT! I DO NOT SMOKE. THEY….are bad for you.’
‘They are, it’s true. It is my last vice besides attractive women, though.’
‘I DO NOT SMOKE FOR TWO REASONS, MY BOY!’
*Looks at fag, still half left.
‘Alright, go on.’
MY VERY DA!. HE PASSED AWAY AT 66 OF THE CANCER! I CRIED LIKE A CHILD WITH TEARS STREAMING BEHIND THE SUNGLASSES I WORE TO HIS FUNERAL. I NEVER SMOKED AGAIN AFTER THAT!’
‘I’m sorry to hear that.’
‘NOT A TOUCH OF THE NICOTINE, MY BOY, NOT A TOUCH!’
‘I’m working on quitting, I promise. I’ll work out a way to stop.’
‘REASON TWO!’
”AFTER I QUIT, MY SYSTEM CLEARED OUT AND I HAD THE GREATEST SHIT EVER KNOWN TO MAN OR BEAST, MY BOY. MAN OR BEAST! IT WAS A HUGE THING SITTING IN THE BOWL, AND MY COLON HAS NEVER BEEN CLEARER!’
‘………’
‘ROUND THE CORNER AND TO THE LEFT, YOU SAY!’
‘I, er, yes.’
‘THANK YOU, YOU’LL NOT JOIN ME?’
‘…Shop to run. Sorry, man.’

And this is why i’m closing ten minutes early today.

 king-of-strong-style

5 March 2016

#bestintheworld.

Magda Knight said…

‘As a comics lover and Sarf London gel, I am absolutely going to have to recommend Raygun Comics East. Holly Payne, check it out next time you hit London Town! Even though they’re based in North London I think of Raygun as my “local” comics shop. For, you know, local people. Great vibe, great chat and recommendations. Where else can I get Bitch Planet, limited edition greeting cards Iron Maiden album artist Krusher and Soho burlesque art by Rian Hughes, eh? Also they smell really clean (the shop, also I guess the staff) and look really nice and are really inclusive and the coffee shop next door is worth the trek alone. OH, THESE GUYS. THEY ROCK.

12 March 2016

Every once in a while, I get to be proud of a thing, alright?

SSOOOOOOOOOOOO….. (drum roll, please.)
Ladies and Gentlemen, Children of all the ages who love the funnybook pages, I present to you all, the FIRST. EVER. ARTIST APPROVED WALL OF COOL!

In celebration of the upcoming Circuit Breaker from Image Comics, this month’s #WallOfCool at Raygun Comics East is dedicated to one of my favourite comic strippers, Mr Kyle Baker. Enjoy the wide range of the man’s work whilst keeping an eye up as I sneakily update it with new and different books in the weeks to come!
kyle

20 Apr 2016

DID YOU JUST GET A TWEET FROM WENDY JAMES FROM TRANSVISION VAMP ABOUT COMICS? THEN YOU CAN SHUSH!

ohmygodohmygodohmygod

22 Apr 2016

Standing outside having a fag. Mother & Daughter walk by. After they pass, Daughter turns to Mother and asks ‘Mummy, why does that man look like a prostitute?’

Fuck you, Hackney, I’m going home.

7 May 2016

Holy.
Moley.

Things finally calmed down here at Raygun Comics East. Out of most of the books everyone wants now. Still vaguely vertical and getting the shop back out of the state of carnage. Very, very much love to all of you who showed up. Was a bit worried that today was going to be a total dud but crazy rammed from start to a few minutes ago.

Cannot say enough good things about Mattia Savoldelli and Clair Hart with all their support, hard work and providing a unique form of security.

The best bit was obviously having a very confused courier arrive with a box of 50 odd comics I ordered from Lorne Brown, as there was no better time they could have arrived than with a full shop of customers, Harley Quinn and kids dressed as Wonder Woman.

*crashes out in headdesk moment Just leave the correct amount of money by the till and take what you want, please.

12 May 2016

I’ve just had to ask a customer to leave for trying to start a ‘Greedo Shot First.’ argument.

Is there a badge or something I should be applying for? Do I update my LinkedIn profile?

13 May 2016

Long as we get a decent bit of footage of Arseface singing ‘Don’t Look Back In Anger’, that’s as much as we hope.

*Put Manara books in the window, Italian Women come into the shop.

Looks to see if Jennifer Tilly has been in any comics.

17 May 2016

Today, we finally have a restock of #SushiCats. We are at a loss for words but kids love ’em, So yes. Sushi Cats.

27 May 2016

Today our sneaky plan was to stick a Bat-Manga T-shirt in the window that can be viewed from Space*.
*Possibly

Jun 1 2016

PHEW! It’s okay, we’ve managed to get all four issues of @alexdecampi‘s classic ‘Archie Vs Predator’ back in stock!

 dog

4 Jun 2016

Just sold a Tardis to someone by telling them that if they wait long enough, it’ll take them to the future, guaranteed.’

7 Jun 2016

We made some mistakes and took a pie in the face.

RIGHT THEN.

As some of the more astute amongst you noticed last week, I made the bone-headed error of mixing up Roberta Gregory Donna Barr. Here’s me hopefully making amends for that while showing off the ALL NEW WINDOW OF COOL (Featuring the work of Gilbert Hernandez Jamie Hernandez) with the able help of Lolo O’Neill.

At Raygun Comics East, Doh.’

15 Jun 2016

(This is not a joke. We have Jenna Jameson: Shadowhunt 1 & 2 in stock. We don’t know why or how. DM us if you want them on the quiet.)

16 Jun 2016

Spent the morning looking up Punisher books on eBay & Amazon and now both are recommending Gay Muscle Porn to me.

Thanks, Comics.

9 Jul 2016

IN STOCK: SATAN’S SODOMY BABY 2 & T.R.U.M.P.D.O.K IN THE SPIDER-GWEN ANNUAL!
Raygun East: Keeping Comics Classy since ever.

21 Jul 2016

In good news, our subtle plan of putting a cinnamon bun by the fan has started luring people in. Because we are shameless like that.
Nothing has ever, EVER topped that time a cat formed a punk band, recorded a song called ‘U STINK BUT I LOVE YOU!’

22 Jun 2016

Career High. Listing a comic on eBay with the headline ‘INFAMOUS HAMSTER INCIDENT ISSUE!’

27 Jul 2016

Today we found out that we turned on one of our regulars to the @JMDeMatteis & Keith Giffen’s run on Justice League.

We couldn’t be more proud. We stocked them as we thought every shop should have them. BEST SUPERHEROES EVER

29 Jul 2016

We just got a selection of stuff in and either this is going to be brilliant or we’re all going to prison. Possibly both.

3 Aug 2016

Basically the sort of day at work when you’re trying to get ‘Tales From The Leather Nun’ trending on Twitter.’

12 Aug 2016

NEW GUESTS TO OUR TOP SHELF! Crumb! Betty Page! JESUS!

21 Aug 2016

Normally I’d be narked that the customers are still here after i should have locked up, but since I’m being held up by a Mum reading out the 1st issue of Supergirl to her kid like a storybook, I’ll live with it.

Good work, DC. And it’s even the issue with the Adam Hughes cover.

25 Aug 2016

The highlight of the collection is obviously ‘Sex, Drugs And Violence In The Comics.’ A collection of Pre-Code Wrong.’

27 Aug 2016

Please note: We’re closing at 4pm today. We’ve been invited to a wedding and frankly we doubt this will happen twice.

 leopards

1 Sept 2016

Normally, a day would be made by Andy Williams bringing in chocolate ice cream and telling me about mad Japanese films or getting post from Shaky. But this happened in the last hour. Get yourself a cuppa before clicking ‘See More…’:

The Setting: A wondrous comic shop full of intrigue, wrong, luridity and other things that probably give The Comic Book Legal Defense Fund a headache on a daily basis.

The Cast:

A humble comics retailer of good genetic stock, seemingly immune to aging and a strong beard. We’ll call him, er, ‘Revs.’

A teenage girl: Let’s call her ‘Jade’

‘An afternoon. REVS is reading through Previews and surprised that there are a number of good things worth pre-ordering and contemplating getting a Bat-Cow plushie as a new member of staff when JADE runs in.’

J: REVS!
R: JADE!
J: HELLO!
R: Hello, Dear. take a breath. Sit down. What’s going on?
J: You remember I came in earlier on today? With my mates? We looked at the Harley Quinn Funko Pop!
R: I do!
J: Do you remember the girl with the black hair? No, wait, there were two of them. The taller one.
R: I do. She liked my earring and asked where I bought it. That one?
J: YES! GUESS WHAT?
R: …It is you. Any number of answers could be true in this case.
J: SHUT UP. SHE ASKED ME OUT, REVS!
R: Okay. Wow. Cool. Is that good?
J: YES THAT IS COOL! SHE IS SO CUTE AND NOW SHE’S MY GIRLFRIEND!
R: That’s awesome. She’s really nice!
J: I KNOW. I don’t even get to go out very much, so I brought her here and now she wants to go out with me and I had to tell someone and I know you’d be cool with it!
R: Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?
J: That’s why you’re cool, Revs. SHE’S TEXTING ME NOW AHHH SEE YA!

Jade LEAVES. Revs sits there wondering WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?

And, er, Revs knows what happened. He went out of his way to create a space where it was cool to be who you are and chat about whatever you want, nobody would hassle you and everyone was welcome. He sat back with his can of Rock Star and reflected to himself that even if he was fired tomorrow, Brexit caused another price hike in the cost of comics somehow or the entire works of Kirby, Watterson, Moebius and Eisner were deleted from existence, there had been a day when two girls could bond in the place he ran and start a relationship against a world that apparently still needs telling that you leave women with headphones in to themselves.

And all things considering, it’d probably all been worth it.

END OF ACT ONE. Your narrator calls it a night.

3 Sept 2016

‘But does it have any superheroes in it?’
‘Miss, Fozzie The Bear is better than ALL the superheroes.’
‘ALL the superheroes?’
‘ALL the superheroes.’

Muppets comic sold to child. It’s going to be a good day.’

 bat-rowlf

4 Sept 2016

There are three packs of dogs apparently having some kind of conference outside the shop.

More on this as it develops.’

We just sold the Topps Jackie Chan comic by Michael Golden to a child and therefore we have won comics retail today.

11 Sept 2016

Excuse me, do you have any badges?’

*inner voice:
‘Go on, Nevs, say it. Say it:
‘BADGES, BADGES? NO WE DON’T SELL ANY STINKIN’ BADGES!’

*real world voice.

‘Ahem. No we don’t.’

16 Sept 2016

(We’re not now and will indeed never, ever feel compelled to talk about ‘Teenage Iron Man’.)

17 Sept 2016

Kid walks into the shop.
‘Excuse me?’
‘Hello.’
‘It’s Batman Day. Have you got Batman Stuff.’
‘I DO.’ *gestures to afore-mentioned Batman Stuff.
‘Ohhh…..Er, Excuse me.’
‘Mmmm-Hmmm?’
‘Have you got any GOOD Batman comics or is it all him crying about his mum?’

I had to give him a copy of ‘Batman Adventures’ Vol 1 on the house and get him out of here. That was too much.

 satan

22 Sept 2016

It finally happened.

Well dressed couple come in.
The Man: (Suit. Black Briefcase. Woman is a couple of steps behind him, slowly looking around the shop and begins tugging on The Man’s arm.)
‘Why, HELLO, MISTER RAYGUN!’
(I’m Mister Raygun. Of course I am.)
‘Wotcha.’
‘I see you sell lots of magazines. HAHAHAHA!’
‘Ha ha?”
‘Well, Me and my companion today have come to bring you the BEST magazine.’
‘A full run of Penthouse Comix?’
‘What- NO. The magazine that teaches you about THE LORD JESUS CHRIST! THE BEST MAGAZINE. AND BEST OF ALL, IT’S FREE!’

I blink it at him for a few seconds.
‘Okay. Well, uh, I don’t like taking things for free, I could trade you?’
‘Um..’
‘So I sell this thing called SATANIC MOJO COMIX! It’s basically the OTHER SIDE of the story, you know? We’re always hearing how hard Jesus had it with the nails and the flogging. What about Lucifer, man? He got kicked out of Heaven. Heaven’s meant to be amazing and he’s BARRED. Have a look what he has to say.’
‘NO. ER, Thank you. COME ON OLIVIA!’

They exited, stage right. Ta for the rescue, Jason Atomic.

Thurs 13 Oct 2016

‘Here, heard what’s happening. Got a bit more stuff I’m clearing out to take with you down South. That randy Italian stuff you like.’
‘…randy Italian….Milo Manara?’
‘THAT’S the perv. Yeah. See you tomorrow.’

Sometimes my customers are the best.

raygun

Sat 22 Oct 2016

And that’s it.
Going to the pub.
Thanks to everyone who supported us.
Later.

Go follow us on Twitter ( @RaygunComix ) to see what we do next.

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